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Coffee
News of Central MS
PO
Box 1865
Madison, MS
39130-1865
Phone: 601/853-3798
Cell:
601-842-0423
Fax:
601/856-9596
Email:
jonni@coffeenewsjackson.com
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You know you
drink too much coffee when ...
- Juan Valdez named
his donkey after you.
- you ski uphill.
- you speed walk
in your sleep.
- you answer the
door before people knock.
- you sleep with
your eyes open.
- you just completed
another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
- you grind your
coffee beans in your mouth.
- you have to watch
videos in fast-forward.
- the only time
you're standing still is in an earthquake.
- you lick your
coffeepot clean.
- your eyes stay
open when you sneeze.
- the nurse needs
a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- your T-shirt says,
"Decaf is the devil's coffee."
- you can type sixty
words a minute with your feet.
- all your kids
are named "Joe."
- you don't need
a hammer to pound nails.
- your only source
of nutrition comes from "Sweet and Low."
- you don't sweat,
you percolate.
- you've worn out
the handles on your favorite mug.
- you've built a
miniature city out of plastic stirrers.
- people get dizzy
just watching you.
- people can test
their batteries in your ears.
- when someone asks
you," How are you?", you say," Good
to the last drop."
- your birthday
is a national holiday in Brazil.
- you'd be willing
to spend time in a Turkish prison.
- you go to sleep
just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- you speak perfect
Arabic without even taking a lesson.
- your Thermos is
on wheels.
- you can outlast
the Energizer Bunny.
- you don't even
wait for the water to boil anymore.
- you think being
called a drip is a compliment.
- you don't tan,
you roast.
- you don't get
mad, you get steamed.
- you soak your
dentures in coffee overnight.
- your coffee mug
is insured by Lloyds of London.
- you think CPR
stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
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